How to survive the Monster Pit

As a symbol f their obedience, little monsters are given an opportunity to play as tribute. Each one of them shall fight to the death until a lone victor remains and be given an eternal key to meet the queen. This pageant shall be henceforth and forevermore called The Monster Pit Games.

~Manifesto 0.22 satellite 3.0

Hello readers!

 

[Pictures were made by me, would love to have some credit :)]

I hope some of you reading this are monsters and/or a lady gaga fan or anything in between since only them can relate with this.

Here are some advice how to get into the monster pit and how to survive it.

First of all, what is the Monster Pit you say?

At the Born This Way ball, the Monster pit is that “lucky spot” at the center of the whole arena, in front of the castle and if you’re lucky enough, you’ll be just a few feet away from Lady Gaga. Many monsters are dying to get inside this scared place since it entitles anyone inside it, to meet Lady Gaga and probably some memorabilias be given away to whoever is in there.

 How to enter the Pit.

~The pit is for general admission. This means, no matter how expensive or how cheap the ticket you bought it, you’re still entitled to enter the pit.

~Dress accordingly. Dress for the ball like it was a formal party. I recommend you wear studs, glitter, latex, meat or anything unusual and loud fashion. Or if you dont have any ideas, Dress as the queen herself. What better way to impress the queen if you dress like her? Oh and ‘props’ such as discosticks and telephone headresses and/or alien gunk is also a win.

~Arrive early. Monsters who apparently waited ‘overnight’ are more in luck for the Haus to drag them in the Pit. My advice: Bring a disposable sleeping bag if you want to travel light. Be there 24 hours or probably less if you dont want some vivacious ones to get first.

How to survive the Pit.

~Since in the pit, you’ll be up to dancing and screaming and singing. Prepare your voice for some Bloody Mary screaming. Dont drink cold water and dont scream 72 hours before the ball.

~Dont bring anything breakable such as an Ipad in the pit. You’ll be lucky enough if you can see it alive after the ball.

~Trudge your way up front. If you can though.

~Always have energy. Weaklings will be deliberately thrown out from the pit.

~Dont upload worthless videos. You’ll be risked with death threats saying “WHY DID YOU USE A POTATO TO FILM THIS?”

~Virginity will be lost in the Monster pit, esp. when Government Hooker plays. Take advantage of it.

~Do keep in mind that keepsakes will be given. Such as this mini disco stick.

~The lone victor will be given a key of eternal desire and opportunity. If he has succeeded with allies, they’re both in for a great opportunity to meet Lady Gaga and grab her ass

To truly survive the pit, here’s the golden rule

GET YOUR DICKS OUT AND HAVE FUN BITCHES.

Unfortunately, I cant go to the ball. The Born This Way Ball date here is May 21. It is devastating, but I know someday, Gaga will notice and meet me. The queen following me in twitter is a first step. Im gonna meet her. Now is not the time, but someday, it will. I promise.

Let the annual Born This Way Ball tour begin. Let the Monster Pit games begin…….. DIE BITCHES  May the odds be ever in your favor.

Disclaimer: Use of logos are not intended for any copying or copyright infringement.

Good luck surviving the Pit!

Lots of Love. With Orange Colored Skies.

~xGagaloox

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