maybe I know somewhere, deep in my soul that love never lasts. and we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone but keep a straight face.
and up until now, I have sworn to myself that Im content with loneliness….
Just want to share you a little rant of mine, which has been bothering me
its been about two weeks since I stopped dreaming. I finally came into my senses and that daze that went on for nearly a year dissipated. I have yet to realize that I was fooling myself all along, I was fooling myself yet again. It hurts, I fell apart, with numbed senses I was able to wake up with my body on the hard concrete. Reality hurts. All my life, Im always on the pursuit of happiness, who wouldnt? I cherish the hope that someday, happiness will hit me like a train and all I can do is smile.
Weeks before I dreamt of my almost lover. He was sweet. He said he was sorry, he was sorry for breaking a heart as lovely as mine. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and pulled me in to a hug. His embrace was overwhelming and warm. I was happy, teary-eyed even, from that moment the world stopped. I was high with ecstasy and from that hug I realized that I wasnt truly happy my whole life. And I woke up crying. All is but a dream, that I am happy only if I sleep all day and disregard the world around me, in my dreams, I feel happy.
its hard to start again. its hard to love again knowing you’ll be risking another set of wounds. But I am strong, what doesnt kill me only made me stronger. I have yet written another chapter, and a chapter anew is something different, and something better. Things that come with time will always be better. I can learn to love again.